I like lists – screen reader version

Dear Madam,

I like lists. I like bullet point lists, indented with a subject heading and categorised.  I like shopping lists, visualising the supermarket floor plan and every shelf for the products I require, or if my belly is rumbling, I think about what I’d like for dinner and the ingredients I need. I like physical lists, manifesting as piles of things that are the same or similar, or I fold my clothes and arrange them in a rainbow of colour, or put away my books on the shelf by size, by author, by title, by subject – it really depends on how I feel that day. I like lists that I can make into a PowerPoint, and animate with flashes and bounces and slides. I like lists in the TV guide, and choosing what I want to watch, at Christmas circling what order of things we will see on Christmas Day. I like reading the list of ingredients on the shampoo bottle, and looking up on the internet to see what sodium lauryl sulphate is, and how long I’ve got to live if I keep on washing my hair.  I like lists that turn into essays, that I have to break up with line spaces, so it still vaguely resembles the list of my intentions, failing that some bold type, a bit of colour and numbering each paragraph 1, 2, 3… I like lists of things I plan to do, with no deadline or any commitments, so they never get done. I like lists of cleaning chores, I can give to others when I am away, not so much when I have to give them to myself. I like lists in boxes that I can tick off when complete, or change the colour on my computer – green is done, amber is almost done, but red I haven’t even started yet. I like lists of jobs that clearly outline what each member of staff is responsible for and what they must do to carry out the task – that way nobody has any excuses. I like lists I can put in a bucket, and dream about the grand things I’d do before I die, ride a horse through Chile, go up in a hot air balloon across Europe, visit the forests of New Zealand, and the volcanoes Hawaii. I like the lists on my favourite albums, letting me know when the track that makes me dance will be on, unless I hit shuffle by mistake, but I like surprises too. I like the lists on restaurant menus, and choosing the most expensive wine because it always has the best description, I also like the dessert menu although my sweet tooth can never decide.

As you can see, I will always find a way to organise, and I am very creative with the lists I create, Excel spreadsheets never need be dull again.

If you check your schedule, and look down the list, I hope that you can find a space to fit me in,

Yours Mindy